I know that cleaning the house and nurturing the children is what women are supposed to do because for the most part men are supposed to be the providers for the family. What I would like to know is why it (cleaning) comes so naturally to some people and is so painstakingly difficult for people like me. I absolutely hate doing it. We have been doing a lot better at keeping things tidy and laundry clean and folded compared to the past, but that doesn't make it any easier for me.
My solution: have guests over as much as possible to force me to clean and a reason for me to recruit Darrel to help.
Hopefully we will develop better habits. I've heard that it only takes 21 days to form a habit, but how long does it take to break one that was created over 20 years ago???
Renovation joy
4 weeks ago
1 comment:
I don't buy into the philosophy that women should be the cleaning force in a family. That's not an option around here. I see myself as the manager, not necessarily the grunt worker. I see what needs done, and make assignments to everyone, if they can't see them on their own. In our house, it is definitely a group effort. If we leave it up to me, lots of things never will get done.
I'm a terrible housekeeper. I've come to peace with that after many, many years of beating myself up about it. One of my friends finally said to me, when I was lamenting about the messy state of my house, and how I felt like a failure, "Kim, that's Satan talking!" She was right. Heavenly Father loves me just as much with my clutter as He does without. Another good friend reminded me, as I complained to her, "Yeah, but your house has a lot of love in it. Your kids are happy kids. You and Donnie are a great team. Isn't that what's most important?" Yep!
Here's my new way of thinking. Everyone has talents. I can cook up a great meal. I can run a Primary of 100 kids quite smoothly. I can teach Early Morning Seminary. I can be the PTA president. I can teach 4th graders long division. I can plan a great vacation for 20 people. I can speak in front of hundreds of people and not get nervous. I take my kids on great adventures around the city. BUT, I will never have a spotlessly clean house. I can't live like that. I'd rather spend my time doing the things I get joy from. And, housework never brings me any joy, only frustration. Someday, when my kids are older, I'll go back to work and pay a housekeeper.
Donnie and the kids do lots of things to help. When we work together, we can keep things picked up as well as we need to. Donnie also mops all the floors and folds all the towels. It does help when we have friends over. It's amazing how fast we can get things in order on those days! We've agreed to host several BYU football games this Fall, so I expect our house will be the cleanest that it's ever been.
So, be kind to yourself, and don't let those "born organized", "neat freak"-types get inside your head.
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